Breaking Their Spirit

For years I have struggled with the 'right' way to treat a horse. As a young woman I was very confident with horses and there were times when I asked too much too soon and there were disasters. Sometimes I followed the mantra of that time: "just make him do it!"  But, mostly I was sensitive and gentle, preferring to maintain the relationship rather than force the horse.  I  rode Thoroughbreds and other hot blooded horses, and like me, they were sensitive, and I knew they could not tolerate rough handling. Sometimes I was told I was too soft.

Ten years ago when I got back into horses I wanted a quiet trail horse or a sensible dressage horse. While horse shopping, over and over again I met horses that had 'checked out'. I looked in their eye and they were 'hidden'. Dissociated.  So many horses with a dull, blank expression. The laid back trail horse seemed impossible to find,  many people seemed to think 'trained' meant a horse would follow his buddy down a trail. God help you if a bike went by, or a plastic bag flew up in the air. So many horses who had been bullied and pushed too fast. Ruined before being fully grown.

Eventually I discovered Mustangs and they were definitely NOT checked out! They were alert but not flighty, curious, intelligent and they wanted to interact. They enjoyed playing with people and one another. Their spirits were intact. I have come to think that what many of us seek in our horses is their Spirit. As their caregivers it is our job to protect their spirits, their joy in living, their desire to engage in life.

As a young woman I was sent to Catholic Schools and eventually a Convent School. Life was rigid there, prayers starting at 5 am, bells signifying what we were required to do throughout the day. The Rule of Silence for some reason was extended to the girls, only teens, most of us not planning on being nuns.  We were not allowed to visit or talk in our dorms, all but two hours of the day were scheduled for us, nor could we go home most weekends. You may find this hard to believe, but there was chain link fencing surrounding the school. I begged my parents to be set free. They ignored me. I was incarcerated. There were many ways that School and the Church tried to break my spirit. We were not allowed phone calls, our letters were opened and read, dressed in uniforms we were told how soiled we were by simply being young women.

Eventually I learned how to check out, how to dissociate, how to create a glass wall for protection.  Recently I read these are ways institutions try to break your spirit.  When I read that I thought oh.. Now I know, now I see why I chose the wild ones, the mustangs, the Horses with their Spirits Intact.